I stopped updating for a while because I was busily writing and programming in school.

It's been the toughest semester so far.

For last one week alone, I stayed over two nights in school. In total, for the entire semester until now, the number of stay overs must have easily exceeded ten.

it's two weeks to the end of all horror, a 200+ functions system with reports spanning two to three hundred pages.

why must "they" do this to us? it's horribly unfair to drive us to do honors year project and deliver a large system at the same time. Had that not been the case, programming would have been more fun and days wouldn't be gloomy.

I wish god would hear me and show me the way.
I may look strong and loud.
But I do have a lot of inner fears and frustrations.

I learned not to complain.

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I'm having a crazy semester.
last few weeks I felt like a fish out of water.
almost every day was spent in meetings and discussions.
there's so much to do and so little time on hand.
a lot of things happened recently.
a few good buddies from NUS and SMU flew off.
didnt get to send them off.
Grandma is in hospital.
Just terminated the wireless internet at home. switched to mobile broadband since it is cheaper overall. $14.50/month
Finally changed phone. Not a fantastic upgrade, but still a reasonably useful phone. E71 has much of what I need without burning a hole in my pocket.
Still working hard on my research topic.
Took a pharmacology module this semester as well. It is quite interesting and low in workload. 2 hours lecture/ week. no tutorials or projects. But you have to remember names of medications.
There's just so much more to write but I think I will update when I have the time.

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Right now, I'm here facing the four walls. Stoned.
Alone in a little discussion room with just myself.
Half-dozing, half-aware of the subtle humming of the air-conditioner.
Let's face it. I'm in just no mood to do anything.
Spent the past hour reading blogs.
Browsing photos and admiring the colorful lives of others, wondering why mine's monochrome.

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The last thing I ever want is the end of holidays.
and it seems like it's less than 1 month left.
there's so much to do and so little time.
Sometimes I feel like the four walls are closing in.
And seeing others graduating recently, I can't help feeling envy. When's my turn?
Luckily, recent events like birthdays, movies & dinners preserved some sanity.
Last weekend, with a group of friends, I watched Ice Age 3 in 3D. It was quite interesting to see the characters seemingly popped out of the screen dancing right before your eyes.
After the movie followed a hearty dinner at Cafe Cartel. Under the warm lights, we chatted, ate chicken and munched on crispy bread while the rain poured heavily outside.

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today marks the day that for the first time I gave a short talk to a group of 100+ people.
i agreed to give the talk simply because i want to overcome my fear and improve my public speaking. honestly, while i was preparing for the talk, i cursed myself for agreeing and moments before my turn to speak, i felt like my stomach was turning upside down. but i decided to feel the fear and do it anyway. so here i've done it and i'm proud of myself even though i m aware that i haven't improved much. at the very least, i took up the challenge.

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Two days ago, as I was on the MRT on my way to attend a dinner, I saw a wheelchair-bound passenger
trying to board the train. Halfway in, part of the two side wheels sunk slightly into the gap between the train door and the commuter platform and he could not move further. I held the two sides of his wheelchair and tried to raise the wheelchair onto the train but it barely budged. There were a lot of strong and young people around and I expected someone to help but they just looked on. It was only when there were signals that the doors were closing did one person came forth and pull the wheelchair backward onto the platform. There's something seriously wrong.
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I'm happy that I've roughly found my research topic after reading books, a number of journal papers and sitting down to think. I'm currently refining my topic. My professor has been supportive and encouraging. After each meeting (so far three), I learn something new and I'm motivated to clock more mileage. I was also right to drop my special term module. After doing so, I'm much happier and less stressed.