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My latest YouTube craze.

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Dinner with friends @ Manhattan Fish Market, Central Mall
My last minute effort to avoid missing out on a feast.
Xmas gave me the reason to be sinful.
A thick slice of grilled salmon. cocktail. pumpkin soup. mango cake.
We queued for quite a long time and we were allocated an outdoor table at the back of the restaurant.
could have been an ideal spot.
wooden floor planks, wooden chairs and leather-lined table top. a few loosely hung coloured lights lent a peaceful and laid-back feel to the place.
we had a good view of the Singapore River and the line of neon-lit clubs and pubs on the other side of the river.
Then it began to drizzle lightly.
Sporadic waves of cold wind blew raindrops onto the table, chairs and us.
We were "relocated". dinner was served right after.
after dinner, we randomly walked and took a few pictures.
the last act of the day took place in a two-storey Mac Donald's:
sending out well-wishes sms messages to friends over coffee.
I received a number of well-wishes as well. =)

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Days passed quickly.
I caught the movie "Ip Man" (pronounced yip man, not I-P Man).
An ardent fan of action movies, there's no doubt how much I enjoyed the show.
Jogged and ad-hoc cycled two days ago.
went to the beach and watch the waters (makes me want to sail).
Got back my examination results yesterday. phew. everything was okay.
Sang with a friend.
Not really eventful but at least I'm fully relaxed.
It's xmas eve. merry xmas to everyone.

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I've been planning to watch "A Beautiful Mind" for a long time and finally a few days ago I watched it.

brief synopsis from Wikipedia:

Beautiful Mind is a 2001 American film inspired by the life of John Forbes Nash, a Nobel Laureate in Economics[1]. The film was directed by Ron Howard and written by Akiva Goldsman. It was inspired by a bestselling, Pulitzer Prize-nominated 1998 book of the same name by Sylvia Nasar. The film stars Russell Crowe, along with Jennifer Connelly, Ed Harris and Paul Bettany. The story begins in the early years of Nash's life at Princeton University as he develops his "original idea" that will revolutionize the world of mathematics. Early in the movie, Nash begins developing paranoid schizophrenia and endures delusional episodes while painfully watching the loss and burden his condition brings on his wife and friends.

I'm totally amazed by Russell Crowe's acting in this film. There's a speech towards the end of the film and I believe it to be one of the best movie speeches I have heard:

Thank you. I've always believed in numbers; and the equations and logics that lead to reason. But after a lifetime of such pursuits, I ask, "What truly is logic? Who decides reason?" My quest has taken me through the physical, the metaphysical, the delusional -- and back. And I have made the most important discovery of my career, the most important discovery of my life: It is only in the mysterious equations of love that any logic or reasons can be found. I'm only here tonight because of you [his wife, Alicia]. You are the reason I am. You are all my reasons.

Thank you.

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Another half-awake, half-asleep night.
I wonder what's gone wrong with me.
Unable to sleep normally.
Holidays are getting exceedingly boring.
Envisioned plenty of fun stuff to do when I was having one hell of a time with exams and projects. But now, I just sit and watch the time pass by.
And yours truly wonder how his fellow schoolmates have packed schedules during the holidays.
A voice within says: everyone seems busy except you (yes, you).
To make matters worse, module plans for the upcoming semester are in a constant state of flux.
I'll be on local partial exchange program to SMU in less than 20 days and I have a lot of what-ifs in my mind. I'm not yet prepared to attend classes in both universities concurrently.
what should I do today?

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I read two story books for the past 2 days.
finally pushed myself to tidy my room and stashed away the semester's notes and papers.
attended my cousin's wedding.
went to the zoo with two couples today. can't help feeling like a light bulb (hehe).
quite a fun but tiring day.
getting lazy to go outdoors these days.
Looking forward to a new year.
my resolutions for this coming year are,
In an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way, in its own perfect time, for the highest good of all, I'm building my confidence in speaking and presenting.
In an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way, in its own perfect time, for the highest good of all, I'm living healthier.

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Roughly one week into the December holidays.
Finished watching the entire 40-episode kung-fu drama. Quite a number of exciting as well as moving scenes.
Had dinner with two groups of friends for the past 2 days.
I had a good rest as well.
Still waking up feeling aimless every day.
I can't put my heart to do anything serious.
Yesterday I had a missed call from an unknown number.
Upon reply, I realized he's someone I know.
He told me that he needed some help from me.
I told him I would get back to him but I deliberately didn't.
To me, it doesn't matter.

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An entire day of rain. An outdoor plan gone awry.
A friend's birthday celebration.
A group of us had lunch & caught a movie instead.
Shot some photos. Never photogenic with my plastic smile.
Fun day despite the wet and cold weather.
The train halted at least thrice on the way home.
Terrible service. Hopelessly zealous commuters.
I refused to budge a few times.
Continued watching a drama series shortly after reaching home.
I like watching kung-fu dramas. Makes me imagine and believe.
But still, I face an identity crisis.

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I feel much more energetic after resting for a few days.
Started on my initiative to lose weight.
Jogged in the morning on the day following the last examination date.
Yesterday I managed to avoid junk food while dining out (having sore throat as well).
Bought a t-shirt too (just felt that I should reward myself for working hard).
Will be going out for some purposeful shopping today, time to snap out of my sleepy mood!

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things I plan to do this holiday

• Catch up with friends & relatives
• X' mas outing? (too old for that?)
• Get some exercise & eating sensibly (so hard!)
• Watch a kung-fu drama series & movies I missed long ago (a beautiful mind & 8 mile)
• Sing till I drop
• Stare into space and roll on my bed
  
• Technical skills upgrading (since my interpersonal skills & presentation skills have shown so little improvement, I shall focus on my core competency =P)
• Read a few selected books

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I realised that my body clock has been perversely altered by my poor sleeping routine.
Falling asleep is a chore, waking up is a breeze.
Decided to do a self-evaluation for the entire semester. And here goes,

What worked for me

• Never putting off or skipping weekly readings (I read the entire 16 articles for a module during the first two weeks and was then able to cope with the tight examination schedule).
  
• Skipping CERTAIN lectures (you are better off using the two hours to do something productive. Exercise discretion though).
  
• Skipping forum discussions to prevent anxiety and information overload (never always a good idea to follow the crowd).
  
• Using Adobe Acrobat to aggregate research information sources for reading (e.g. web pages and word documents)
  
• Using Adobe Acrobat to combine multiple PDF lecture & tutorial files into a single file for printing. Only one print request to a shared printer in school (saves time!)
  
• Using Google Docs for collaborative discussion. (ability to track contributions)
  
• Nokia Wireless Presenter (wirelessly controlling a power point presentation using a mobile phone.)

What went wrong

• Poor group coordination and my inability to effectively assign work as a project leader
• Frequent burnouts from overwork
  
• Expectations > abilities

Insights & Implications

• Learn each module well (especially prerequisite modules) because much of the information learned in one module is repeatedly used in other modules (e.g. the terms authentication & authorization have been repeated in 3 modules). Learn it well, D.R.Y. (Don't Repeat Yourself)
  

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The nightmarish exams are over!
I feel happiness beyond words can describe.
The past 2 weeks have been stressful and tiring.
Now I feel like an unleashed animal. Bursting with excitement and energy.
Went to sing with friends just now. What a great way to relieve stress and tension by screaming!
=)

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After a good night's rest, I'm ready to get up and be on my way again.
The road to the finishing line. 4th December.
Looking forward to the December holidays.
Joyous occasions.
Christmas. A cousin's wedding. Several friends' birthdays. Brother's return from India.
And the oh-so-carefree afternoons.
But it's also the time to make crucial decisions.
Oh well, I shall not dwell on things too much. Life's too short anyway.

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3 papers are over. 2 more to go.

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Yes! my presentation just ended about an hour ago.
Everything went well with a minor exception.
The project that I presented was an e-commerce ticketing system.
The part that did not work was the currency conversion.
It worked every time before but for no apparent reason it failed during my presentation.
Hmmm. Murphy's law in action.
But I'm happy now that I have crossed another hurdle alone.
I would like to thank two friends for their early morning sms messages of encouragement! Thank you!

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There's still a long way to tomorrow's presentation but I'm getting cold feet already.
It's an 8 am presentation.
I fear presentations always, however minor or insignificant they are.
I know things are not likely to turn out badly but, still, I'm not confident.
Maybe this upcoming holidays or some day, I will find some way to overcome this fear.
It's a terrible feeling. Presenting alone for 30 minutes on an early morning.
I can visualize myself presenting tomorrow.
Shaky hands and dry pale lips.
God save the poor man.
My 1st paper on Saturday. Let's hope things turn out well.
I need a break.

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I figured out that I must have overworked.
As most of my assignments have been handed in, I'm more relaxed but at the same time feeling totally drained.
So far, I churned out a total of about 7 reports, developed 2 systems, and presented for 4-5 times.
And for many times this semester, when the nights grew late and when the rest of the world is quiet, yours truly hoped that someone would step forward and help. The only sounds were the barely audible breathing of my laptop processor and my own heartbeat.
Disappointments abound..
I'm resorting to writing to motivate myself. I can do it. I can do it.

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One fine morning, I created this blog. I previously held one for 3 years and for some reason decided to quit blogging. After being passive for a few months and having experienced considerable changes in my life, I'm back!

At first, I thought of using my old blog which I now keep private but I decided not to because when I read my previous posts, I laughed. Though it's been a short span of time since I last wrote, I honestly seemed to have grown up far more than I did in the last two years.

For a start, I recognized character differences. I wished I had been wiser in the past when I was totally self-centered and tried to make others follow suit. Slowly, I began to understand others better while still keeping my goals in perspective.

I must say that school's been a real test for me for the past few months. I never thought it was possible to survive given the back-to-back deadlines. Ironically, I'm walking towards the end of the tunnel and I see light. Presentations. Systems. Reports. Almost everything is over except the exams. I wish for the holidays to come faster. I miss the days when I spent entire hours exploring places, food, technology and mingling with people.

Write again soon.