When I was attending school, I always hear tales of working friends collapsing on the sofa coming home from work. Well, at least, I thought those were tales used to turn down outings on weekends.

Now I am part of the story. When it was peaceful, pace of work was fast but manageable. During production release periods, work becomes overwhelming. Now I drop dead on the sofa easily and remain 'strung' throughout waking times.

As my (and our) first project goes live, I bask in feelings of fulfillment (not complacency though).

After years of what I believe is development, this is actually the first time I am producing a serious piece of work. It's also my first system development life cycle.

yes, ownership of a piece of work feels great. conquering issues feels even better.

I'm sensing continual growth again.

Where work life balance is concerned, I score badly.

Even while not physically in office, it's mentally unsettling to know there's a backlog.

I must learn to enjoy and not worry so much. Why is it so hard?

i like my job working on a trading application

good benefits, nice environment, talented technologists.

Much to learn and explore. :)

Finally, after much consideration, i bought my first e-book reading device.

So much thinking and deciding while others are rushing for iPhones and iPad.

And I ended buying iRiver Story.

Why not iPad?

Too much for plain reading, way past my budget.

Why not Amazon Kindle?

Actually, Kindle is cheaper, even after shipping fees. But the major drawback is that it only supports Kindle and PDF formats, and there is no local warranty.

So far so good.

Now, I can finally put all my finance, technology and story books together and carry them with me. Next up: figuring how to use National Library's e-resources to extend my collection.

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6 weeks into work and it's the start of 7th week tomorrow.

Feeling? challenged absolutely.

I wouldn't think myself a fresh graduate, shirking responsibility.

I enjoy being ambitious, absorbing and learning all the time.

Programming, finance, people skills, etc.

I'm adapting to the pace and environment.

Knee deep in code.

Weekdays pass in a blink.

Weekends too.

I like Friday evenings.

I make it a point to dine and catch up with friends.

Friday is a "how're you doing?" day.

If we haven't yet met, please let me know :)

Tentative projections/plans:

- Start a long term investment

- achieve CFA level 1 by next year June

- Get a ebook reader (damn, why doesn't Amazon ship Kindles/ Kindle content to Singapore?)

- Ceteris Paribus, stay frugal !

Recently I started a black book.

I bought a black leather notebook, hence a "black book."

I realized no matter what i read, nothing sticks.

So it dawned on me that i needed to capture the essentials which could be useful.

The inspiration came from a friend whom i attended a weekend course with.

He used a notebook to jot down the subtleties while he was learning C++.

So far, this way has worked well for me.

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For the past few days at work, I went through any documentation I could find.

It was quite disappointing having no direction. I wanted to get ahead but I was getting nowhere.

The worst thing is not knowing what you don't know.

And I wonder why things are fragmented.

On my own, I am still using weekends to catch up.

it's almost 2 weeks into work.

i miss my days wearing t shirt, shorts and slippers,

although i readily embraced the experience of swimming in a big firm.

it's a boundless sea of systems & procedures. terms & abbreviations.

likewise, there is no dearth of new skills and knowledge to pick up.

team meetings were often. there were overseas visitors too.

emails came in hundreds every day. 2 weeks of email can easily beat my one year's worth of personal mail.

the corporate world surely exposed the chinks in my armor.

i was a wet blanket at recent social occasions because i was afraid to speak up. i couldn't articulate well at meetings too.

Certainly it's a high paced environment.

but i believe, slowly but surely, i will bridge my weaknesses.

I secretly wish time wouldn't pass so fast.

I want more time to get ready.

Finally the lazy man has new blog design templates to choose from.

It's been a while since I truly did my own blog template.

I've always emphasized simplicity, clarity and all about being a minimalist.

That has some truth. But the other side of the coin is that I've gotten sick of custom designs.

This blog finally had a makeover. But it has fallen to disuse. Heck.

Recently, I have been doing things I never believed in.

First, I registered for corporate photography. I actually enjoyed the process. I didn't have to bring anything. The folks at the studio had the blazer, formal shirt, and tie. A makeup artist did some light makeup for me. It did for a moment felt quite fun.

Secondly, I tailored more formal shirts with bold colors. And I visited the tailor a few times. Each time I gathered more fabric knowledge through casual conversation with the store owner.

Thirdly, I signed up for a weekend course and went in for the first lesson in slippers and shorts. The material are a bit dry though. A few people looked drowsy after lunch. There were group work and presentations. My group members either ignored what I said or spoke so fast that I stood no chance to pick up any meaningful idea of what was said.

4 more days to end of national service.

I can already see in my mind's eye my pink identity card.

Thanks to a friend, I found a job. I'm excited about starting work, probably because I have been a workaholic all these years. I want to learn new skills and make new friends.

2 more weeks to the end of NS.

The nearer the date, the further it seemed.

I just applied for 3 days of leave followed by Saturday and Sunday which effectively bailed me out from camp for the past few days.

I had good reasons for doing so, for I attended a job interview on Friday and took prior 2 days to prepare. If the interviewing game is not my nature, then nurture be the way.

I revised my Java topics wholeheartedly and researched the company. I felt the interview was okay. It all depends on them now.

Five more days and I would know if my research paper has been accepted for conference. I hope it does. Then, I would get a chance to travel and to present.

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Exactly one month to 10 August 2010.

Operationally released date.

And thank god, I have 6 days of unused leave.

That amounts to 1 whole week off duty.

What's my story so far?

Convocation/graduation ceremony just ended 3 days ago.

Took lots of photos with lots of people.

Also made an appearance on live broadcast during the graduation.

Have been using weekends to get enough rest at home and also work on improving/upgrading skills. Also achieved certain milestones over the past 1-2 months.

- Self-learnt the basics of economics and finance

- Currently learning to program in Perl

- Set up a linked in profile

- Set up a personal website

- Cleared 3-4 paperbacks

Truly a good time for self-reflection while waiting for recruiters to call.

45 more days (roughly 6 weeks) to ORD

I was relocated to a new place completely shut out from the world.

Hand phone reception was poor.

I volunteered for any task which kept me occupied so that time wouldn't just "crawl."

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Good news and bad news.

Bad news is that I am back in camp.

I owe 'them' 83 days of service.

amounts to 2 months 3 weeks. FML.

fortunately I am taking on a much more passive role.

Good news is that I've gotten my results and my efforts paid off well.

a first-class honors. my goal met.

despite so, my supposedly secured job, under some unlucky circumstances, is now unconfirmed.

to hedge the risk, i am rethinking my goals and applying for more jobs.

i m dead broke. 10 June 2010, please come soon. i need my allowance.

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Although I'm not any gifted in music or knowledgeable about it, I still like listening and watching this:

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Back to camp

to serve my remaining 83 days

the freedom after exams/graduation was short lived

it's again back to the exact settings three years ago

i called it the "stock exchange"

except that most of the faces are new

i wish i can fast forward 83 days

come on, let me move on! don't lock me in here!

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take a present snapshot of me

i am well aware that i have changed

for the better or for the worse borders on the contentious

but one thing for sure, i know i have changed in a number of ways

i asked why food isn't ready barely two minutes upon order

i try hard to avoid crowds to move quickly

did i expect life to function like computers?

i also get increasingly critical

What i learnt in classroom was impractical

i begin to identify things that matter

crisp truths versus fluff which smothered my senses

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I've graduated!

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exactly 7 days to the last paper.

i mean last paper of NUS.

how cool is that?

it's been a long wait.

i have endured hardships and overcome challenges.

and forged valuable friendships & "fiend"ships

dear friends, i thank you for lending support when hope was in short supply

dear fiends, i thank you for the experiences which bestowed upon me the ability to discern

it's been an eventful three years

good mug and drool times

good hacking code times

good coffee times

i have so much to say, being someone who dwells in school 7 days a week

gaining freedom soon feels like going out from jail

i hope the day would come but uncertainties abound create a tension of the opposites

even with a job, i am still lost and confused. What's next?

i put on the graduation gown and wondered why we couldn't just dress in tees

I finally discovered what works best for me.

i haven't been this cheerful, energetic and "alive" all the while.

completing work on time. having enough sleep. eating well and feeling good.

here are some of the habits which has helped me a lot:

- setting just 3 major tasks to do everyday (find your own optimal size for each task)

- read something or listen to something while you travel. (exceptions: don't do this standing, don't read on bus) I generally avoid newspaper because i hate people who spread their 'chicken wings'.

-avoid potato chips and junk food. eat sensibly.

-devise your own exercise routine. can't help you lose weight but prevents you from getting sluggish. my own routine takes about 10 minutes everyday, with a mixture of on-the-spot jogging, slow push ups, crunches, bridge, etc.

-have enough sleep.

it's almost the end--graduation.
even the snail mail has arrived.
indicate your attendance, order your graduation dresses. ("why dress and not outfit?")
that also means the dissertation is due soon (omg)

i must push on using my last burst of energy!

~20 days to submission of dissertation
~22 days to submission of 5000-word case study
~11 days to presentation for case study
~6 days to submission of service oriented architecture assignment

what's the motivation?

a good honors degree
a graduation trip (i long to have a holiday)
catch up on sleep and exercise i sorely lack
visit people and places

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Everyone's crazy about applying for jobs before graduation.

still, i don't feel the urgency because i don't know what i want.

but herd behavior has drove me to start applying.

i saw how others wrote their resumes, took some samples and re-did mine.

into 1 neat page.

something that really made me laugh was this career objective(s).

it's fake, sounds fake and, in my humble opinion, throttles growth and versatility.

so i left that out when i sent my resume.

should there be any objectives, it should at best be a high level statement.

At least i didn't try to "smoke."

besides applying for jobs, i planned out my last stretch of school.

Things that i want to do:
1. write up thesis report
2. write paper notes/cards to express gratitude to those who helped me in my research (even if things don't turn out well)
3. donate useful materials to deserving juniors.

Things that I may do:
1. Graduation trip
2. Switch to mac
3. Learn python programming

I'm near to giving up.

half the data I have collected could not be used.

people simply didn't care.

they just anyhow filled up the questionnaires, promptly collected $10 and ran off.

yet i spent hours keying in the data.

mostly useless.

There's a suitable term for this. that's GIGO (Garbage In Garbage Out)

with such junk data, i could hardly squeeze out any results.

tried numerous ways to interpret the data till 4 am yesterday.

i remember who you are. yes, beware. you will always be in my heart.

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the experiment is over.
10 hours. recruited 196 participants.
all sorts of people.
of course, you'd expect it to be quite crazy for a first-timer.
Every hour, i would recite instructions least 1-3 times to early comers, late comers and random walk-ins.
most came for the ten bucks, and honestly i would expect them to work for every buck by participating properly.
but as usual, that's the ideal.
someone told me before, "don't think these are university students, some are really idiots"
that stroke a chord with what I am thinking right now. spot on.
sometimes, i wonder why we can't have a jerk-free society.
as i now flipped through the completed questionnaires, there were people who obviously circled the same answers for every question.
I still remembered on the day the experiment took place, there was one guy who told me,"can you phrase your questions properly? I think it's not well-phrased."
well, i was appalled by how rude people can be.
"just who do you think you are? a professor?"
hot-tempered as i am, i controlled myself.
at the end of it all, i was totally exhausted. still i carried the whole stack of completed questionnaires back home.
only to realise many had simply anyhow filled up their questionnaires.
it was obvious.
i spent a lot of effort to prepare everything. creating the web pages for experiment, the questionnaires, the stapling, the coordination of time slots and the list goes on.
but still, i feel very much indebted to the phD student who helped me out. she woke up early on that day of experiment. and i was also aware that she had her own work as well.
thank you so much.
and thanks to another friend who sacrificed his time to conduct the experiment with me.
i really had my fair share of hard knocks this time.

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drive is a thing so elusive, one moment it comes, the next moment it slips.

thankfully, i'm driven today. perhaps by fear?

tomorrow is the day i conduct my pilot test with eight people.

and the next week is the real thing.

without saying, today will a busy day for tomorrow's sake.

In school now. Just settled down.

there's not a single soul, except for the foreign students quietly hidden away in the labs.

tomorrow's is also the first day of school for the new semester.

can't help feeling the blues.

as always, there are two sides to the coin,

it's either the start of school or the last semester of undergrad studies.

i prefer to think the latter but tend towards the former.

let's hope the next two crucial weeks will be smooth sailing.

okay it's time to sign off. down to work.