FY2009 Report

it's almost another year. not very eventful.

Jan-May 2009. student exchange programme.

I loved being an exchange student. Those were the days of respite. I could put aside all my worries as I need only average passes.

the professor teaching the supply chain module inspired me with his unconventional ways.
Intensity and toughness radiated within his tiny wiry figure. He gave practical take-home advice and I like that.

At the partner university, I was also lucky to have hardworking people in my project teams except a small handful. Coincidentally, the outlaws formed a team:

it was a all-girls team except for my friend and I.
one girl didn't show up at meetings until the day before presentation. reason: not feeling well.
another girl claimed to be knowledgeable but would panic at the sight of problems. just like a doctor couldn't stand blood.
another girl would cling on to writing reports.
the end?
I marked them down in my appraisals. despite one of them being from the same polytechnic as me. having met numerous fiends, i was extremely intolerant.

Aside from this experience, i had some difficulty understanding statistics and coping with my operating systems module.

But overall, exchange was a good experience.

Jun-Jul 2009. start of final year project.

lots of printing and reading. learning the ropes to research. other than work, life was monotonous. took on some freelance work but ended up not delivering on time and eventually aborting the project. i felt like a joke.

Aug - Nov 2009. This part of my life is called hell weeks.

research combined with heavy development.
developing a large scale system was very hard.
not everyone was committed.
five of six guys had to cope with research work. i was one of them.
the system development had a few milestones and deadlines.
each represented one or more sleepless nights in school.
for almost every day i was typing code and pulling my hair out.
shortly after we delivered the system, three others and I continued to write our progress reports for another two nights in school, one of which fell on the day everyone speculated that there would be meteor rain.
in fact, upon finishing the report, i sat staring at the skies for a whole 2o minutes in the wee hours just outside the faculty building and i saw nothing.
a few days later, the first exam came and i still prepared to my best of ability.
unexpectedly, a lot of questions came from the guest lecture and i slept through that lecture out of sheer fatigue.
actually, on hindsight, only one guy on the project team wasn't committed. he was smart and he presented himself well. he wrote good english as well. but he just wasn't with us. as much as we didnt understand him, he didnt understand how bad our team situation was.

that pretty much summed up the entire part of hell weeks.

Dec 2009 - future.

I'm currently still busy with research work. I'm left with half a year and then I would serve my remaining days in national service. my new year resolutions are:

• shape up (a lofty goal)
• secure a good job
• stay happy
  

i didn't set out to write a financial report but it looks like i have written a fiscal year report. I hope next year's "financials" would be better not just for me, but for you too, my reader.

I'm grateful to those who helped me in my pretest survey.

I know I haven't talked to some of you in ages and for this once i did, it was shamelessly for a survey. I feel bad about this but I have no choice since I don't have a lot of contacts to begin with.

Anyway, thank you if you have taken part in this survey. =)

I am left with about 6 more responses.

Hopefully things will be alright.

Untitled

I realized even after the examinations, days still flew by.
many of my peers took upgrading and certification courses.
i choose not to do the same.
Just to offload my heavily stressed pea brain.
I was back in work, working on my badly managed honors year project.
I still hate what happened.
dialogue sessions, feedback? lip service.
so like Shakira says, "so don't bother~"
perhaps more foresight but not so much as to have oversight.

I need to learn statistics, experiment design and conduct pretest and pilot test all in one month.
To my horror, the help I envisioned would not be available as most of the people would be overseas for a conference until the 20th.
I was referred to a PhD student. I contacted him and he told me he was going back to China.
And come 20th, it dawned on me that it's 5 days to xmas.
It feels like one of those many times that I want to throw in the towel or raise a white flag.

I want to "biang biang" people.

The examinations have finally ended.
i feel like a plane which has flown across the Atlantic Ocean.
The wings are battered and a few screws are falling off.
It's going to take a long time to service this plane.

Struggles

I believe that nobody reads this blog anymore.
reason(s):
1. This blog has been abandoned for a long time.
2. Its owner only writes about school and nothing else.

Still, I want to say that this has been a painful semester.
night after night my teammates and I stayed in school.
I think I must have wrote more than 10000 lines of code.
The number of report pages exceeded 500.
And a final presentation rehearsal spanned 7 hours with the final presentation hitting 3 hours.
What you've just read is not a myth, it is a module. One module.
Together with a honors year research project and two other modules, a perfect hell was conceived.
In retrospect, I learned a few things,
- clever and bright people may not make the best teammates.
- never use windows vista + eclipse for development. Horribly slow.
- tough men may last, but tough times may last even longer.
- Murphy's law always hold. perfectly fine programs crumble during presentations.

I m tough but I have broken down a few times amidst these tougher than tough times. The next things coming up is an exam and finally operationalizing my research. If you read, pray for me. I need lots of luck for the next few months.

I stopped updating for a while because I was busily writing and programming in school.

It's been the toughest semester so far.

For last one week alone, I stayed over two nights in school. In total, for the entire semester until now, the number of stay overs must have easily exceeded ten.

it's two weeks to the end of all horror, a 200+ functions system with reports spanning two to three hundred pages.

why must "they" do this to us? it's horribly unfair to drive us to do honors year project and deliver a large system at the same time. Had that not been the case, programming would have been more fun and days wouldn't be gloomy.

I wish god would hear me and show me the way.
I may look strong and loud.
But I do have a lot of inner fears and frustrations.

I learned not to complain.

Untitled

I'm having a crazy semester.
last few weeks I felt like a fish out of water.
almost every day was spent in meetings and discussions.
there's so much to do and so little time on hand.
a lot of things happened recently.
a few good buddies from NUS and SMU flew off.
didnt get to send them off.
Grandma is in hospital.
Just terminated the wireless internet at home. switched to mobile broadband since it is cheaper overall. $14.50/month
Finally changed phone. Not a fantastic upgrade, but still a reasonably useful phone. E71 has much of what I need without burning a hole in my pocket.
Still working hard on my research topic.
Took a pharmacology module this semester as well. It is quite interesting and low in workload. 2 hours lecture/ week. no tutorials or projects. But you have to remember names of medications.
There's just so much more to write but I think I will update when I have the time.

Untitled

Right now, I'm here facing the four walls. Stoned.
Alone in a little discussion room with just myself.
Half-dozing, half-aware of the subtle humming of the air-conditioner.
Let's face it. I'm in just no mood to do anything.
Spent the past hour reading blogs.
Browsing photos and admiring the colorful lives of others, wondering why mine's monochrome.

Untitled

The last thing I ever want is the end of holidays.
and it seems like it's less than 1 month left.
there's so much to do and so little time.
Sometimes I feel like the four walls are closing in.
And seeing others graduating recently, I can't help feeling envy. When's my turn?
Luckily, recent events like birthdays, movies & dinners preserved some sanity.
Last weekend, with a group of friends, I watched Ice Age 3 in 3D. It was quite interesting to see the characters seemingly popped out of the screen dancing right before your eyes.
After the movie followed a hearty dinner at Cafe Cartel. Under the warm lights, we chatted, ate chicken and munched on crispy bread while the rain poured heavily outside.

Untitled

today marks the day that for the first time I gave a short talk to a group of 100+ people.
i agreed to give the talk simply because i want to overcome my fear and improve my public speaking. honestly, while i was preparing for the talk, i cursed myself for agreeing and moments before my turn to speak, i felt like my stomach was turning upside down. but i decided to feel the fear and do it anyway. so here i've done it and i'm proud of myself even though i m aware that i haven't improved much. at the very least, i took up the challenge.

Untitled

Two days ago, as I was on the MRT on my way to attend a dinner, I saw a wheelchair-bound passenger
trying to board the train. Halfway in, part of the two side wheels sunk slightly into the gap between the train door and the commuter platform and he could not move further. I held the two sides of his wheelchair and tried to raise the wheelchair onto the train but it barely budged. There were a lot of strong and young people around and I expected someone to help but they just looked on. It was only when there were signals that the doors were closing did one person came forth and pull the wheelchair backward onto the platform. There's something seriously wrong.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm happy that I've roughly found my research topic after reading books, a number of journal papers and sitting down to think. I'm currently refining my topic. My professor has been supportive and encouraging. After each meeting (so far three), I learn something new and I'm motivated to clock more mileage. I was also right to drop my special term module. After doing so, I'm much happier and less stressed.

Untitled

I decided to drop my "General Biology" module. I was interested in biology back in my secondary school days. I loved drawing cells and learning more about life (in the scientific sense). That was why I registered for a biology module. However, when formal lectures started two days ago, I felt I was no longer passionate about cells. The lab work and assignments pushed me to drop. I decided to focus on research and work on some simple freelance projects.

Untitled

Time flies when life is busy.
My last summer holidays though relaxed passed slowly.
Now it feels like moments in a time machine.
Half of my holidays are history.

I sat for my "living with maths" module exam yesterday.
I managed to finish the paper and that I'm happy.
I like the module.
It teaches application of math to daily life and helped me relate better to discrete math, statistical and computer security concepts. I also learned to verify ISBN numbers, and find routes between locations.

For now, I plan to give myself a short break before continuing with research.

Untitled

A group of us celebrated Mandy's belated birthday yesterday. We dined at Kenny Rogers and ordered quite a spread. I could see that everyone enjoyed the meal and there was a lot of laughter and teasing going round the table. I have always enjoyed warm occasions as such, catching up with friends over a long dinner or coffee break. It totally fits one of my favorite quotations:

You have achieved success if you have lived well, laughed often and loved much

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I like the song "Fly" by Hilary Duff. Here are the lyrics. Inspirational words in bold.

"Fly"

In a moment, everything can change,
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of your yesterday.

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control,

Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.

All your worries, leave them somewhere else,
Find a dream you can follow,
Reach for something, when there's nothing left,
And the world's feeling hollow.

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control,

Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.

And when you're down and feel alone,
Just want to run away,
Trust yourself and don't give up,
You know you better than anyone else,

In a moment, everything can change,
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of yesterday,

Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try,
Fly
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.

In a moment, everything can change.

Untitled

Exam results were released yesterday.
fell short of expectations.
i read only 1 module this semester.
it's a subject i like,
and i worked really hard for it.
i spent much more time than anyone else.
and now i feel lousy.
Anyway, have to move on.
Another exam in 3 weeks time.
Another project milestone to meet by end of June.
let's move on, let's move on

Untitled

Summer holidays are going to be different.
Well, actually I don't understand why people use the term "summer holidays" in Singapore.
It sounds artificial and "potato-ish" since we don't really experience the four seasons.
Anyway, I was saying holidays are going to be different.
I remembered I slept through my last summer holidays. On several mornings I would jog with Alfred. In the afternoons i would read or sleep. And days just went by painfully slow and boring.
This time round, I foresee holidays would be busier.

firstly i'm reading a summer term module.
Attending lectures 1 week after exams isn't fun.
Plus a monotonous lecture in the late afternoon, you get the most potent tranquilizer dart.
One friend beside me fiddles with his iPhone throughout the whole lecture. and the other beside me pretends to listen, occasionally closing her eyes. Strangely, everyone else is attentive. Are they all Shaolin monks? So disciplined?

secondly, i'm doing my honors project. i'm excited but frightened as well. i've worked hard and i'm definitely going to continue running for the next 1 year to make my efforts count. i'm learning to write better.

besides work, i forgot to plan leisure. ideas anyone?

Untitled

Another semester ended.
I went places the last two days.
I brought a group of friends to farm mart in Chua Chu Kang.
Though most shops were closed, we enjoyed still.

One of the fun experiences was to watch a school of fishes gather around your legs...



Yesterday, we took a bus and walked to PS Cafe along Harding Road after dinner. As someone who frequents at cafes and coffee shops, I totally liked the place. The cafe had a warm and calming ambience. Away from the city "noise", it feels like a different world. The prices are a bit steep though.

Untitled

Operating Systems interests yet scares.
Even with more than 2 weeks of time, I'm not prepared.
My mind wanders off to post exams whenever I try to revise.
I think of what to do on the day I stop writing and the examiner collects my script.
I think of what to do on the next day, the day after the next day and so on.
I want to sing.
I want to eat roti prata.
I want to catch up with friends.
Enjoy the simple pleasures.
But now, my life's in a mess with a bunch of random thoughts.
Seriously I need to get organized.

---------------------------------

When I attended the Final Year Project presentation of one student a week ago, I remembered those Chinese inter-university debates on TV. Q&A happened on-the-fly and it was intense. One year from now, I would be doing the same. But I'm unsure of myself. Even for day-to-day decisions, I'm not confident, let alone presenting to a group.

Untitled

It's been more than a month.
The excuse for not writing regularly: I was recently told that my blog topics revolve around school work.
In short, s/he meant that I'm boring.
So, this post will likely be boring again.

About 2-3 weeks ago, I participated in Starhub IT Case competition. we had a hard time analyzing the case and proposing good strategies within 48 hours. But to a first-timer, I feel it's quite a challenge and a good experience. I've always been passive & seldom take part in competitions as such.

My local student exchange program is ending as well. After working with the students at the partner university, I have gained new perspectives. Generally, they present well (at least much better than I do). However, the greatest takeaway comes from reading the supply chain management module. The professor has inspired me to think critically and write clearly. To top it all, I've made few but like-minded friends.

as you are reading, my exams are coming and i am trying. motivation is in short supply and these are truly trying times for me.

Untitled

I jettisoned my old plans.
No more extra semester.
Not getting an internship either.
Decided to focus on my honors year project.
Probably reading one special semester module, "Living with Mathematics".

I know I'm a nerd but I hate it when you, you and you say I have no life.
That's my life and my prerogative.

I ask, "what's having a life?"
To me, life means cherishing your family and close friends, having a direction and being yourself.

Untitled

Just in case you don't know the difference between i.e. and e.g.

http://ancienthistory.about.com/od/abbreviations/f/ievseg.htm

Untitled

Just when i thought programming makes you look like a nerd,
maths makes you look like a nerd too.
cool.

Untitled

I listened to the audio book "On Writing Well" by William Zinsser on the way to school yesterday.

I totally liked what the author said about writing.

Some of things mentioned which I feel are especially true and some of which may be useful to you:

• As we become better educated, we become more suspicious of simplicity
• A good writer who writes about fishes don't use fish English.
  
• When the doctor says "are you experiencing any pain?", he could have asked "does it hurt?"
• Most writing can be shortened by 50%. The two words "blared loudly" can be changed to "blared".
• Use active verbs rather than passive ones (e.g. I saw him in the library (better) v.s. he was seen by me in the library (bad) ).
• Choose nouns carefully. Short ones are better than long ones.

these are peaceful days for me.
I have gotten a little laid back,
enjoying the "off season".
the calm before the storm

Untitled

I can't really believe I'm 24 today.
Thanks for the well wishes so far.
Before I sleep, let me write a few thoughts.
In retrospect, it's been a tough year.
In many situations I felt like throwing in the towel.
But still I hadn't and I hope I won't.
I only have one wish for this year.
I wish for all around me to be healthy and happy.
I don't know who's in charge of fulfilling wishes.
But whoever you are, I only asked for one thing.
And I hope you will do it well.

Cheers,
Hong Wei

Untitled

I was in a bad shape and mentally bruised yesterday.
So, alone I took a bus home at night, leaving a friend bewildered at my choice over the usual MRT way home.
I needed to escape from the harsh lights and cacophony of chatter.
And a slow bus ride coursing through isolated roads was nearly perfect.
The bus was half-vacated, relatively cooling and dim.
And I enjoyed watching the world flew by.

Untitled

Shuffling between two universities is like switching between two firefox browser tabs.
If only it's as easy.
I still struggle to keep awake for the afternoon 3-hour classes in SMU by drinking coffee.
But it doesn't really help.
The Dark Age has once again begun, threatening to overrule my CNY public holidays.
I foresee that I would be playing catch-up through CNY.
Probability of minimal CNY visiting is 1.
Oh yes, I'm taking a statistics class this semester and I know I'm poor at that. So dead.
And I see people falling asleep in statistics class.
I figured that either because the materials are too easy for them,
or because the materials are incomprehensible(that applies to me).
someone save me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's week 1 for NUS and week 2 for SMU.
all's merry and happy, especially with CNY arriving.
I read the zodiac and horoscopes forecasts every year.
It's supposed to be good year for the Rat.
I hope it comes true.

Untitled

Going to school didn't feel like going to school.
Beautiful campus. New faces.
I took my first class yesterday.
The professor's nice. The materials are also interesting.
But still, the 3-hour class almost put me to sleep.
I probably can't sit still for long, especially without talking to anyone beside me.
That just isn't me.
I'm almost always restless and doodling in lectures. or sleeping.
Maybe I'll try harder to know more people.

Untitled

I'm back to school in a few hours time!
plan to have Mac Donald's breakfast and sip some hot coffee before going to school.
excited but not prepared yet.
Perhaps a change of environment will make life less boring.
My primary goals for this semester:

• make more friends at SMU;
  
• and score an A/A+ for Operating Systems in NUS (I like technical modules!).

2009.
New beginnings.
I'm not ready.
School's starting on 5th January.
I need more rest.